I. Just. Did. That.

I realized today that I never told you beautiful readers that I "ran" a 5k.  I use quotations because I technically didn't run the whole thing because that would have caused my heart to explode...haha.

I ran about half and finished in my best time ever. It was quite literally one of the most surreal experiences of my life. As I came around the corner of the field (yeah, it ended on Faurot Field :o)), I saw about 30 cheerleaders and Truman the Tiger cheering me on. All I could think of was, "I just did that."

This time last year, I couldn't walk up a flight of stairs without breathing very, very hard. The idea of walking even a mile exhausted me. Grant it, when I crossed that finish line after hustling 3.1 miles, I was exhausted, but I was also astonished.

It's truly amazing what hard work and persistence does. I mean, think about it. Last fall I had the depressing moment of buying a size 24 pants. I'm now in a loose-needs-to-be-belted size 18. I've lost 43 pounds. Who does that?

Apparently, I do.

It was like a penacle moment as my Momma cheered me on. I've felt so weird lately, like exposed to the world because I feel so different. Like, it's almost as if I'm walking around naked, like everyone can see me in such a raw way. I know that's very odd, but I just don't feel comfortable in my own skin...in a really, really  good way.

It's not just spiritually, like I mentioned in my last post. It's totally physically, too. My face has thinned dramatically. I have muscles...like, leg muscles that look really good. My feet, too. My stupid feet are smaller and none of my flats fit the way they used to. I have this stuff under my arms that's not flab - it's skin. Ok, yes, they are still a little wing-like, but at the bottom of that there's skin!

Craziness, I tell you. Craziness.

So, I don't know what my true goal is as far as weight goes. It's hard to measure  because I went from the size 20 to the size 18 by losing a whopping three pounds. Which, my physical activity haters, is proof that exercise and diet together is the best way to get in shape.

So, what is next? I feel like the whole "5k by 'almost' Labor Day" thing is over, so I need to set a new goal, right? I mean, once you achieve your goals, shouldn't you set more? #complacencymuch?

Yes. The answer is Yes.

Obviously, being able to run the entire 5k is next. I'm looking at races in March or April to participate in. But, I think I want something closer. I'm hesitant to set a weight loss goal because of how weird my body is right now. So, I think a good, comfy, nice looking size 16 by Christmas is the new goal.

Yep. Just said/typed it. "Sweet 16 by Christmastime" is the new goal.

Doable.

I think that's all for now. I'm working on a longer more "inspiring" piece about the whole "naked" thing, haha. I'm actually doing a word study in the Bible on the word naked. It's used a lot in  a lot of different ways, but it all boils down to being exposed - whether good or bad.

But that's another blog, my friends.

Peace Out, Home Fries.

Missy ;o)

P.S. Please enjoy the pics from the 5k race day!

Warming up with Jazzercise before the race.
This one was to LMFAO's I'm Sexy and I Know It, lol.

Home stretch...AKA "Praise the Lord, Hallelujah I survived!"

 Me, Kim and Truman at the finish line! 

                                         

Comfort Zone

"I think it's like a right of passage," she said, hitting the nail right on the head. "At some point in every woman's walk with Jesus, He asks them to go farther. It's more than just loving and serving Him, it's about literally giving all of yourself to Him."

My friend Missi shared that with me the other night over an excellent Burrito Bowl from Chipotle. We were talking about the change I wrote of in my last post. I was updating her on all the fun things that have really transformed me this Summer. I walk by a mirror and I don't recognize myself...both physically and figuratively.

When I felt God really pulling on my heart in March to start letting things come to the surface, I had no idea what to expect. Like Missi said, I loved God and I was serving Him, but there was something missing. There was a next step that my heart was being pulled toward, and I knew I had a choice to make. Without hesitation I made the step.

The following months were a whirlwind of deep study of scripture, filling countless pages in my journal, and reading everything about God I could. I wanted to know the Creator who made me on an intimate level. I wanted to take breathes of His Spirit. I wanted to walk in His presence. I wanted to feel Him molding me.

And, that I did. And, still feel now.

I keep telling people that Belize was an "excellent trip." That it was fun, and I had an amazing time. Truth is, I haven't told many people the full story of what happened to me there. I feel like the change God was walking me through had a "crystalized moment." (Mr, Finley's advanced English II class, anyone?)


For the longest time, I truly felt like I was supposed to go on that trip. I just knew there was something God wanted to teach/show/reveal to me. But, here it was almost the last day, and I really hadn't felt much. I was a little disappointed because I wanted  to hear His voice. I was actually a little desperate to hear His voice.

As I asked for some direction, I felt Him say, "Just be patient. We've got time."


So, the next morning, I was standing in Central Assembly of God - a huge church in downtown Belize City. I was surrounded by a melting pot of cultures: Belizeans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, Americans, and so many more. We were singing worship songs I knew, but they all had a Caribbean flair. I was really listening for God because of my prayer time the night before.

"God, I just don't get it. We have very few hours left here in Belize, and other than You showing me I can shovel really well, I don't think I've learned anything." (Insert deep, long sigh here)

Then, as clear and gentle as I hear the leaves falling from the tree outside my window, He asked, "Missy, are You comfortable?"

Whaaaa??????? I kind of felt like that was a trick question. See, if you are "comfortable" in your walk with God, chances are you've grown complacent. And, chances are, that's code for "I don't wanna' grown."

(That'll preach.)

"Missy, are You comfortable?"

"Umm, well, yes, Lord, I really am. I mean physically speaking, there's a nice breeze, I feel rested, the worship is beautiful, and this week has been truly amazing. You're growing me daily, and I'm really beginning not to recognize myself."

"So, You're comfortable?"

"Yes, God. But, a little help?"

And then it all clicked. I'm thousands of miles from home. I'm in a country where "my skinned" people are vastly out numbered. I've been eating strange food and sleeping in a random hotel. I've been pouring into women on the trip twice my age, and literally seeing men transform as they shovel dirt.

And, I'm comfortable with it all.

Even though I was out of my comfort zone of talking to Mom every day, putting make up on, wearing cute shoes, facebooking friends, texting acquaintances, and sleeping in my own precious bed, I was comfortable.

It took leaving my comfort zone of life in Columbia, MO to realize just how comfortable I could really be.

God calls every person (although, I'm really speaking to young women right now) to choose Him. There's gonna' be a moment or a service or something that you can look back to and see "old self" and "new self." Mine is literally July 29, 2012. From that service in Central Assembly, I am a completely different woman. I will never be that Missy again. I may go through rough places where I pick up her old habits or have trouble dying to the old flesh, but I will never be the same.

I have no idea what's in store for me. I feel transformed every morning just by waking up to a new day. I'm prepared for awesomeness and expecting lots of people to come to know Jesus along the way. I'm ready for Africa, or SEMO, or 10 more years at Mizzou, or pastoring, or mentoring, or (wow, I'm a little shocked to say this) I think I'm even ready for marriage. I feel like if a man is looking for that Proverbs 31 woman, I'm getting close to the Missy version of her.* I don't know where or when or how my future looks, but I'm ready for it.

So, ladies (and gentlemen if you exist on this blog), do you hear Him calling? Are you ready to go from just serving Him to really  living in Him? Every spiritual woman in my life that I talk to about this says there was a specific time in their mid-twenties to early-thirties that God asked them to go all in. Do you hear Him calling?

Just listen if you don't.

Until next time, home fries.
Love ya.

Missy :o)
(Or, the girl formally known as Missy)


*Please note, I know I'm not the epitome of the Proverbs 31 woman. But, the fact that I feel "comfortable" enough to say that I have something to offer a true man of God is huge. It may be 10 more years before I get to offer it to him, but I feel more prepared than ever before. It's fun, really.

change /Chanj/ - (v.) make or become different

"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." - Nelson Mandella

I've been going through a lot of change lately. Obviously, my physical appearance and physical well-being has been changing, but I'm more talking about my inside. The Best Missy I Can Be is not someone I am today.

De-cluttering my life has become my favorite thing, as silly as that sounds. The other night I came back from a jog and literally cleaned the belly of my closet. Two hours and three trash bags later, it looks and feels so much better. I threw away things I hadn't seen or used in years. Stuff from college, shoes that had worn soles, bath and body products with scents I no longer like (see, change is everywhere).

Yesterday, I moved to my book shelves. I had so many papers from college that back in 2009 I just knew I would use again. Truth is, I hadn't accepted the fact that I would never be a journalist. Let's say I'm selling some text books this week. I don't like to say never, but do I look like I wanna' be a journalist? ;o)

While cleaning, I came across old prayer journals. When I say old, I mean old. The year 2006 was one of the most transformational of my life. I turned 18, fell in love, graduated from college, moved three hours away from home, got my heart painfully broken (my journal's words, lol), and the Cards won the series. At the time, I thought I couldn't be happier (or more depressed depending on if I saw the culprit of the love and heart break, haha). But, when I look back now, I see a girl who was clearly lost and confused.

My ultimate desire at that time was to be with said boy and become a journalist. Literally. The only reason you could call a couple of those prayer journals 'prayer journals' was because the entries started off with Dear God. Reading them now, I'm a little ashamed at how cocky and stubborn I was. I didn't care about much of anything if it didn't start with a J and end with an 'ustin,' hahahaha! (Kayla and Heather will appreciate that reference.)

Truth is, I was so against change at that time because I thought change meant losing everything I was. But, the truth is that's what change is about....not losing who you are, but gaining who you're supposed to be.

College did a number on me in a really good way. I changed so much in that three years. I got over said boy and dated a really good guy off and on (technically, we only dated once, but we had that yo-yo thing going on for awhile, haha). I actually learned a lot about love from that good guy (even though we never shared "the l word" with each other). I learned I wasn't ready for "the l word," and no amount of pushing a relationship you think would be so pleasing to God will work if it's not in His timing. I went from being obsessed with becoming a columnist in Chicago to living and breathing Chi Alpha Campus Ministries. I mean, everything about my personality seemed to change dramatically.

It's three years later, and I'm feeling the exact same way. I'm single, and actually really happy about it. I joke A LOT about finding "my man," but I don't want a boyfriend. I'm having fun on my own! And, I still definitely live and breath Chi Alpha, but even that desire has changed a little. We use to joke that I wanted Tom's job as Campus Pastor at MU. I even talk a lot about seeing XA take off at SEMO, but I just don't know anymore. Truth is, I want to travel. I want to partner with XA all over and see where my talents lead me. This is all far in the future of course, it's just crazy to see how your desires change.

See, those prayer journals haven't changed. Reading them was like the quote above...returning to a place that hadn't changed a bit. They are covered in dust taking up space in my clean closet. However, the penman who penned them is gone. And, I think it's a good thing that she no longer exists. Parts of her do and always will in memories and experiences with great people. My parents see her at times when we share stories. I think they miss her more than I do....she went home more often.

I know I'm kind of rambling. But, doesn't critical thinking tend to make you do that?

I am who I am today. I'm not who I'm gonna' be tomorrow, and I'm certainly not who I will be in a year. Daily, I hand my heart, mind and body over to God to change me a little more. I hope that I can read my current prayer journals three years from now and not recognize the Missy who wrote them.

That's all for now. What do you need to de-clutter? There's nothing like a closet or drawer or room to help you figuratively look at your life. Try it.

Peace Out, Home fries.
Missy :o)

P.S. Dating Teaching moment....Me and that "good guy" I spoke of are very close friends to this day. We now actually platonically use "the l word" with each other and mean it! He's a brother. Take notes, young women. Please use it as an example of how to date - and break up - in a ....well...in a smart way.

skin~ny (adj.) - very lean or thin; emaciated (lol!)

Today, ladies and gentlemen, marks the fourth time in two weeks that someone has used the word skinny to describe me.

What the what?!

This is fun. Never, in my 24+ years of living has anyone ever called me skinny.

Now, before you get all hoity toity on me, I know I'm not skinny. I know I'm still "plus size," and I still have a lot of weight to lose. However, I'm gonna' bask in this.

So, while I'm basking, you can learn about what's up in my life!

Like.....

My Belize trip! It was INCREDIBLE! So much fun. Like, seriously, the most fun I've had on a missions trip because the people I went with are straight up crazy! For pictures, check my facebook page. I will share more with you later. Remind me to tell you about the latrine and "good people."

Tomorrow, Chi Alpha moves in Freshmen which starts two weeks of craziness. Popsicle give-a-way, BBQ, Fiesta, XAi Picnic, Root Beer Kegger, and the first service. Here goes lack of sleep and meeting so many new people I won't know how to handle it!

Moving on, I'm writing this blog on my brand spanking new MacBook Pro 15"!!! A HUGE, GIGANTIC thank you to Harvest Christian Centre Missions for purchasing it for me! Well, almost purchasing it. The offerings are still coming in, so if you want to give, uhh, see here! Tell Pastor Jones that you want to help! If you do give online, e-mail donna@reapnow.org so she knows what to put the money toward! Sorry....shameless plug, I know!

Back to the basking in the skinny...I've selected a 5k to run! My Jazzerrcise location is creating a team for the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in Columbia this year. It's two weeks after Labor Day, but I don't care. Plus, my sickly period and Belize put me way behind.

So, that's all for now. I know, I know, not much stuff, but, once things settle down, I'll get back to the fun of inspiring and challenging you! Scout's honor!

Peace Out, Home Fries,

Missy :o)

P.S. - Special shout out to Britani Siebeneck, Beth Harris, Heather Jones and Judy Russell for the skinny word. And, no, Heather, you aren't "fat," you are pregnant, you goof!

P.S.S. - Please retract Heather Jones. Her name is Heather Thomure.....and has been for well over a year now.

I just don't understand.

I try to be a compassionate person. After all, if you are truly trying to live a life like Jesus, you must have compassion.

I really struggle with that, though.

Poor kids in Haiti - compassion.

Lost souls in Kingston Jamaica - compassion.

Homeless men and women in The District - compassion.

That kind of compassion is "easy." We're human. If you aren't moved by a story of an innocent person in need, then maybe you should do some soul searching. What I'm talking about is a different kind of compassion. A compassion for people who know better.

I keep seeing people in and around my life (even stories on the news) make really bad decisions. I keep seeing them travel down a path that will inevitably lead to destruction - and it's obvious to these people. But, they do it anyway.

And, I think the hardest part is that the majority of the stories I see and hear are from Christians. Christians who've grown up in church. They know right from wrong. They know what a real realtionship with God feels like, but they throw it all away for selfishness. For personal desires or gain. They get so caught up in what the world thinks - how they look, feel, how big their house is, how nice their car is, how blah, blah, blah, blah.... That they forget none of those things matter!

On one hand, I'm preaching to the choir because I'm definitely selfish at times. But, I pray it's never to the detriment of others. And, those of you who know me well, know I love my shoes and purses and sunglasses and losing weight. Bargains are fun, and dropping dresses sizes is fun but my clothing and appearance is not the most important thing in my life. Didn't God say that if He clothes the lilies of the field and feeds the fishes and birds, how much more will He take care of us? (Missy's paraphrase of Matthew 6:26-30, lol)

I was reading my Life of Jesus plan today, and came across this passage.

"But the disciples had forgotten to bring any food. They had only one loaf of bread with them in the boat. ¹⁵ As they were crossing the lake, Jesus warned them, “Watch out! Beware of the yeast of the Pharisees and of Herod.” ¹⁶ At this they began to argue with each other because they hadn’t brought any bread.¹⁷ Jesus knew what they were saying, so he said, “Why are you arguing about having no bread? Don’t you know or understand even yet? Are your hearts too hard to take it in?¹⁸ ‘You have eyes—can’t you see? You have ears—can’t you hear?’^[a] Don’t you remember anything at all? ¹⁹ When I fed the 5,000 with five loaves of bread, how many baskets of leftovers did you pick up afterward?” “Twelve,” they said. ²⁰ “And when I fed the 4,000 with seven loaves, how many large baskets of leftovers did you pick up?” “Seven,” they said. ²¹ “Don’t you understand yet?” he asked them." - Mark 8:14-21

The disciples had traveled with Jesus some time. At this point they have seen Jesus heal dozens of people: blind eyes opened, deaf ears unclogged, dead raised to life again, demons removed, and food supernaturally multiplied. They have seen Jesus do these miraculous things, and yet they were arguing with each other over who forgot the bread.

If Jesus has the faith to raise someone from the dead, don't you think He can provide food for the disciples?

I feel for Jesus. "Don't you understand yet?" DON'T YOU GET IT? 

I know there have been many times where Jesus was screaming this at me. Specifically last Summer when I was so fearful of quitting my part time job to do Chi Alpha 100% full time. I remember I was in my car on the phone with my Dad. I was literally asking him if I could quit the law firm. 

"Why are you asking me?" Dad asked.

"Because, you are my emergency fund, Dad. You help me out when ends don't meet. I'm asking you if you will still help me even though I want to take $175 out of my monthly budget by quitting."

"Did God ask you to quit your job?"

"Yes."

"Then, why on earth are you asking me if you should?"

Silence. My Dad had an excellent point.

I was so worried about money and what would happen to me that I was literally disobeying God. Now, my dad went on to tell me that he will help me in and every way I can if it means I'm in God's will. But, even if he had said no, I still would have quit. Why? Because I understand that God's not "out to get me" or in the business of leaving His followers "high and dry."

So, what's my point? 

My point is take today to live for someone else other than yourself. Quit worrying about 1) Things you cannot change because they are out of your control, or 2) Stupid things like finding a man or being a size 4 that don't really matter. Take a moment to listen to see if God is pulling a wake up call on you. If you do, I guarantee He's gonna' meet you where you are, and help fill what ever gap or void you are trying to fix on your own.

I'd apologize for being so serious today, but it's weighing heavy on my heart. I think I'm finally feeling compassion. My heart's breaking for these people who just need to get a glimpse of understanding God's goodness. Pray for me today, please.

Peace out, dear friends.

Missy :o)

P.S. - Since quitting last July, God has blessed me and allowed me to raise an additional $400 a month. Now that's something I understand.

P.S.S. - If you want to join in the fun and make that $400 increase Click Here.

Life of Jesus in 30 Days Reading Plan

Day 1 - Matthew 1-3
Day 2 - Matthew 4-6
Day 3 - Matthew 7-9
Day 4 - Matthew 10-12
Day 5 - Matthew 13-15
Day 6 - Matthew 16-18
Day 7 - Matthew 19-21
Day 8 - Matthew 22-24
Day 9 - Matthew 25-27
Day 10 - Matthew 28-Mark 2
Day 11 - Mark 3-5
Day 12 - Mark 6-8
Day 13 - Mark 9-11
Day 14 - Mark 12-14
Day 15 - Mark 15-Luke 1
Day 16 - Luke 2-4
Day 17 - Luke 5-7
Day 18 - Luke 8-10

Day 19 - Luke 11-13

Day 20 - Luke 14-16

Day 21 - Luke 17-19

Day 22 - Luke 20-22

Day 23 - Luke 23-John 1

Day 24 - John 2-4

Day 25 - John 5-7

Day 26 - John 8-10

Day 27 - John 11-13

Day 28 - John 14-16

Day 29 - John 17-19

Day 20 - John 20-21 

Happy Reading!

Long Time No Blog

I know. I know. I know.

It's been, like three weeks. Well, I'm a busy lady! Haha! But, the good news is that I'm typing this from my living room! WE HAVE INTERNET AT HOME! YAY!

Quick update...long story short, my heart is A-OK! My thyroid is actually A-OK, too. And, my insulin levels are almost A-OK! "They" think I came back from Jamaica with a virus that caused the dehydration and what not. Then, working out while dehydrated caused my heart to do weird things and make me dizzy. As a precaution, I'm on a 30 Day Event Monitor. It's this obnoxious little monitor that sticks on the upper right of my chest and the upper part of the left side of my belly. If I have symptoms (arrhythmia, palpitations, dizziness, etc), I hit record and call it into the Cardionets center. It's been two weeks, and no symptoms. Woot. Woot. I think I'm gonna' be just fine!

Because I've had no symptoms, I'm back to the grind on working out. Jazzercise actually feels easier! Running, well, it's not so bad. I'm obviously off track on C2-5k, but I'm still doing a 5k Labor Day weekend. I'll push hard until then, and pray for the best!

So, let's see, what's new? Well, since I was out on making the physical side of me better for awhile, I really got to focus on the spiritual. I was praying one day, and I realized that my love for God has grown dramatically in the last few months. Like, for real, I feel like that 16-year-old girl who can't stop gushing about her boyfriend.

I was singing How He Loves in the shower a few weeks ago when God really laid something on my heart...

"Your love has grown now your knowledge needs to grow."

I was a little confused at first. Knowledge? What knowledge? I read the Word, that makes me know Him more. I'm still taking Berean classes, so I'm learning there. So, what did that mean.

"You love me, but how well do you know me?"

Then it hit me. When it comes to really knowing Jesus. Like, knowing the man who came to earth, I don't really know that much about Him. I've got the basics down that I picked up in Sunday School and Easter and Christmas plays, but I don't really know about Him. I mean, even the 16-year-old knows the details of her beaux's life, right?

So, after some prayer, I decided that I really needed to study the life of Jesus. I started a "Life of Jesus in 30 Days" reading plan in my Bible. I'm on day 10, and I love it! Just finished Matthew this morning. For so long, I thought Luke was my favorite gospel - I was wrong. Matthew totally just won!

Don't have any idea what I'm talking about? That's A-OK! Pick up a Bible, and join me! I'll post the reading plan on a separate post so it's easy to come back to! Now, if you're just starting out, three chapters a day might seem like a lot because the Book of Matthew has fairly long chapters. But, isn't being the best you you can be all about  challenging your norm?

So, join me! You can (and should) read your Proverb a day. And, if you're a heavy reader (or trying to become one), stick to what you've been reading in the Word and add this Life of Jesus thing as a bonus! Let's all learn together, shall we?

I think we shall!

Peace Out, Home Hearts!

Missy :o)

BTW...This is my new favorite saying...because, frankly, everyday should be ridiculously AMAZING!