I haven't lost a single pound in six weeks. As a matter of fact, I've gained two pounds.
Weird.
My body is still shrinking. The 18s I've been buying are suffering from SBS - Saggy Butt Syndrome. I should have known better than to buy Old Navy jeans. If I put them in the dryer, they get too short. However, if I don't ever dry them, they never shrink in the buttox area. The price we pay for beauty.
My mind hasn't even really been on weight loss lately, though. The past week specifically, it's been on certain things I have since deemed "Missy, you've gone crazy." First up, the Cardinals flipping beat The Nationals after being behind six-nothing. IT'S INSANE! And, it had never been done before.
The second thing, is praying for BIG miracles. God moves, right? God loves us, right? Well, why aren't my prayers proving that? I'm re-reading through a book for the second time in a month called The Circle Maker (Mark Batterson). Do yourself a favor right now and buy it. Read it. Live it. It will not only change the way you think about prayer, it will change the way you pray.
The point is that you remember that GOD IS FOR YOU. Quit feeling like He's against you and your happiness because it's actually quite the opposite. Perhaps I'll share my small group lesson for the week with you all after I present it. It's about trusting and depending on God...being desperate enough for Him to do something in your life.
That's about all I have today, folks. Any reason why I would be losing inches and not weight? If you happen to know, please tell me. Also, if you've got something crazy to pray about, let me know, and I'll join you!
Love you all!
Peace Out, Home Fries.
Missy ;o)
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Sunday, October 7, 2012
{əˈlōn}
a-lone (adj.) 1. having no one else present; on one's own; without others' help or participation; single-handed.
I have always. I mean always wanted to go to the movies by myself. I love movies. I love movie theaters. I've just always been a little too self-conscious.
I mean, what will people think of the 20 something girl alone in a movie theater? Probably that she's sad, alone, and single. When, in reality, I just really want to see Trouble With the Curve and no one will go with me.
People often ask me if it's lonely being single.
No really, they do.
Those people clearly don't know me well. My idea of a perfect evening tends to lean toward me at home with no one else, haha. Or me alone in a movie theater, lol. Some think I need more "me time" than most humans.
I'd agree.
Recently, I've tried to figure out why. Because, when I say more "me time," I mean that if I don't have at least 15 minutes of quiet to myself every day, I tend to get sad. Like, literally sad. It's the exact opposite of how social people must be around people to feel happy.
Since I can remember, I've been somewhat of a loner. We lived in the middle of nowhere growing up, so Matt and I only had each other to play with. A lot of times that meant I was in my room and he in his. I have an active imagination, and I've always loved telling stories. I was perfectly happy playing with Barbie's all afternoon while they went to college, got married, worked excellent jobs and had kids, haha.
That still rings true today. Sometimes, I just need quiet...peace...even a little darkness (as weird as that sounds). I don't even like turning lights on in the morning. I may turn my overhead light for a couple minutes to put on my make-up, but it immediately goes back off. My roommate probably thinks I'm crazy because I never voluntarily turn on lights. Lamps are so much more peaceful. And, do I really need to have full-lighting to eat my low-fat waffles in the morning?
I say all this to say that I'm alone a lot. And, I usually choose it that way. Jules can tell when I'm having a difficult week because I head straight to my room when I get home and only come out for sustenance. When there's thoughts flowing or trouble brewing, I like to be alone with my thoughts as I talk them out to God. Alone I just think more. Alone I just tend to feel better.
There's a difference between being alone and being lonely.
I'm definitely not lonely. I don't have enough time to be lonely, lol. I'm always around people, and I have excellent friendships.
However, there was a moment over the summer when I just had this deep longing for companionship. And, I'm not talking about a night out with the girls. I mean the kind of companionship that's between a husband and a wife. And, it came out of nowhere. But, I specifically remember the night at Summer Chi Alpha. I came home and just prayed that God would fill that void. That He would be my companion, and walk alongside me.
Well, He's right next to me, but that void is still there. I think that was step one in realizing that my thoughts/feelings about getting married changed.
I've always said I'm content being single for however long God wants...even if that means a lifetime. Those who know my heart, know that this is completely true. I'm really happy with me and God.
What I've realized, though, is that just because you're content being single, it doesn't mean you can't want to be married.
Do you get that?
Saying I really want to be married doesn't nullify the fact that I'm happy being single forever.
Maybe you are thinking, "Well, duh, Miss!" But, it was like a revelation to me. For so long, I think I actually closed off my heart to wanting to be married because I thought people would think I was lonely and desperate.
That's totally not the case.
I can't explain the feeling that I have. But, I know something is missing from my life. Someone missing from my life. Now, more than ever, I'm convinced that God has a husband for me somewhere out in the cosmos of life. Somewhere, right now he is sitting around doing who knows what. Maybe he's even thinking about his future wife...thinking of me, wondering who I am. It's crazy to think about.
Call me crazy. Call me desperate. Call me lonely. I don't really care. I just know that just like my appearance has changed and just like my attitude has changed, my heart has changed. My heart is finally open to being shared with someone else.
I think it's because I finally feel like I have something to offer the incredibly man of God that I want my husband to be. (You can read more about that in a previous post here.) And, not just something to offer, but a lot of somethings. I want to be that companion to that pastor or preacher... that minister's wife who ministers right alongside of him.
I have no idea when this may happen. God could be setting something crazy up for the next year of my life. He may be planning an amazing 30th birthday present for me; I just don't know.
All I know is that I'm happy, no, I'm elated to be alone until then. I know it will be worth the wait. I know that in the mean time I will just keep getting more prepared for marriage. I mean, obviously the spiritual growth is gonna' be a selling point for me. But, the skinnier I get, the better my chances of a hunky hunk, right?
:o) JK. I know the man I marry will love me for me. But, let's face it. I look better now.
So, next time you see a 20 something girl alone in a theater or as the third wheel with her married friends at a restaurant, please don't pity her. If it's me, I'm just killing time doing God's work until that hunky hunk shows up.
Peace Out, Home Fries.
Missy :o)
I have always. I mean always wanted to go to the movies by myself. I love movies. I love movie theaters. I've just always been a little too self-conscious.
I mean, what will people think of the 20 something girl alone in a movie theater? Probably that she's sad, alone, and single. When, in reality, I just really want to see Trouble With the Curve and no one will go with me.
People often ask me if it's lonely being single.
No really, they do.
Those people clearly don't know me well. My idea of a perfect evening tends to lean toward me at home with no one else, haha. Or me alone in a movie theater, lol. Some think I need more "me time" than most humans.
I'd agree.
Recently, I've tried to figure out why. Because, when I say more "me time," I mean that if I don't have at least 15 minutes of quiet to myself every day, I tend to get sad. Like, literally sad. It's the exact opposite of how social people must be around people to feel happy.
Since I can remember, I've been somewhat of a loner. We lived in the middle of nowhere growing up, so Matt and I only had each other to play with. A lot of times that meant I was in my room and he in his. I have an active imagination, and I've always loved telling stories. I was perfectly happy playing with Barbie's all afternoon while they went to college, got married, worked excellent jobs and had kids, haha.
That still rings true today. Sometimes, I just need quiet...peace...even a little darkness (as weird as that sounds). I don't even like turning lights on in the morning. I may turn my overhead light for a couple minutes to put on my make-up, but it immediately goes back off. My roommate probably thinks I'm crazy because I never voluntarily turn on lights. Lamps are so much more peaceful. And, do I really need to have full-lighting to eat my low-fat waffles in the morning?
I say all this to say that I'm alone a lot. And, I usually choose it that way. Jules can tell when I'm having a difficult week because I head straight to my room when I get home and only come out for sustenance. When there's thoughts flowing or trouble brewing, I like to be alone with my thoughts as I talk them out to God. Alone I just think more. Alone I just tend to feel better.
There's a difference between being alone and being lonely.
I'm definitely not lonely. I don't have enough time to be lonely, lol. I'm always around people, and I have excellent friendships.
However, there was a moment over the summer when I just had this deep longing for companionship. And, I'm not talking about a night out with the girls. I mean the kind of companionship that's between a husband and a wife. And, it came out of nowhere. But, I specifically remember the night at Summer Chi Alpha. I came home and just prayed that God would fill that void. That He would be my companion, and walk alongside me.
Well, He's right next to me, but that void is still there. I think that was step one in realizing that my thoughts/feelings about getting married changed.
I've always said I'm content being single for however long God wants...even if that means a lifetime. Those who know my heart, know that this is completely true. I'm really happy with me and God.
What I've realized, though, is that just because you're content being single, it doesn't mean you can't want to be married.
Do you get that?
Saying I really want to be married doesn't nullify the fact that I'm happy being single forever.
Maybe you are thinking, "Well, duh, Miss!" But, it was like a revelation to me. For so long, I think I actually closed off my heart to wanting to be married because I thought people would think I was lonely and desperate.
That's totally not the case.
I can't explain the feeling that I have. But, I know something is missing from my life. Someone missing from my life. Now, more than ever, I'm convinced that God has a husband for me somewhere out in the cosmos of life. Somewhere, right now he is sitting around doing who knows what. Maybe he's even thinking about his future wife...thinking of me, wondering who I am. It's crazy to think about.
Call me crazy. Call me desperate. Call me lonely. I don't really care. I just know that just like my appearance has changed and just like my attitude has changed, my heart has changed. My heart is finally open to being shared with someone else.
I think it's because I finally feel like I have something to offer the incredibly man of God that I want my husband to be. (You can read more about that in a previous post here.) And, not just something to offer, but a lot of somethings. I want to be that companion to that pastor or preacher... that minister's wife who ministers right alongside of him.
I have no idea when this may happen. God could be setting something crazy up for the next year of my life. He may be planning an amazing 30th birthday present for me; I just don't know.
All I know is that I'm happy, no, I'm elated to be alone until then. I know it will be worth the wait. I know that in the mean time I will just keep getting more prepared for marriage. I mean, obviously the spiritual growth is gonna' be a selling point for me. But, the skinnier I get, the better my chances of a hunky hunk, right?
:o) JK. I know the man I marry will love me for me. But, let's face it. I look better now.
So, next time you see a 20 something girl alone in a theater or as the third wheel with her married friends at a restaurant, please don't pity her. If it's me, I'm just killing time doing God's work until that hunky hunk shows up.
Peace Out, Home Fries.
Missy :o)
Monday, September 24, 2012
I. Just. Did. That.
I realized today that I never told you beautiful readers that I "ran" a 5k. I use quotations because I technically didn't run the whole thing because that would have caused my heart to explode...haha.
I ran about half and finished in my best time ever. It was quite literally one of the most surreal experiences of my life. As I came around the corner of the field (yeah, it ended on Faurot Field :o)), I saw about 30 cheerleaders and Truman the Tiger cheering me on. All I could think of was, "I just did that."
This time last year, I couldn't walk up a flight of stairs without breathing very, very hard. The idea of walking even a mile exhausted me. Grant it, when I crossed that finish line after hustling 3.1 miles, I was exhausted, but I was also astonished.
It's truly amazing what hard work and persistence does. I mean, think about it. Last fall I had the depressing moment of buying a size 24 pants. I'm now in a loose-needs-to-be-belted size 18. I've lost 43 pounds. Who does that?
Apparently, I do.
It was like a penacle moment as my Momma cheered me on. I've felt so weird lately, like exposed to the world because I feel so different. Like, it's almost as if I'm walking around naked, like everyone can see me in such a raw way. I know that's very odd, but I just don't feel comfortable in my own skin...in a really, really good way.
It's not just spiritually, like I mentioned in my last post. It's totally physically, too. My face has thinned dramatically. I have muscles...like, leg muscles that look really good. My feet, too. My stupid feet are smaller and none of my flats fit the way they used to. I have this stuff under my arms that's not flab - it's skin. Ok, yes, they are still a little wing-like, but at the bottom of that there's skin!
Craziness, I tell you. Craziness.
So, I don't know what my true goal is as far as weight goes. It's hard to measure because I went from the size 20 to the size 18 by losing a whopping three pounds. Which, my physical activity haters, is proof that exercise and diet together is the best way to get in shape.
So, what is next? I feel like the whole "5k by 'almost' Labor Day" thing is over, so I need to set a new goal, right? I mean, once you achieve your goals, shouldn't you set more? #complacencymuch?
Yes. The answer is Yes.
Obviously, being able to run the entire 5k is next. I'm looking at races in March or April to participate in. But, I think I want something closer. I'm hesitant to set a weight loss goal because of how weird my body is right now. So, I think a good, comfy, nice looking size 16 by Christmas is the new goal.
Yep. Just said/typed it. "Sweet 16 by Christmastime" is the new goal.
Doable.
I think that's all for now. I'm working on a longer more "inspiring" piece about the whole "naked" thing, haha. I'm actually doing a word study in the Bible on the word naked. It's used a lot in a lot of different ways, but it all boils down to being exposed - whether good or bad.
But that's another blog, my friends.
Peace Out, Home Fries.
Missy ;o)
P.S. Please enjoy the pics from the 5k race day!
I ran about half and finished in my best time ever. It was quite literally one of the most surreal experiences of my life. As I came around the corner of the field (yeah, it ended on Faurot Field :o)), I saw about 30 cheerleaders and Truman the Tiger cheering me on. All I could think of was, "I just did that."
This time last year, I couldn't walk up a flight of stairs without breathing very, very hard. The idea of walking even a mile exhausted me. Grant it, when I crossed that finish line after hustling 3.1 miles, I was exhausted, but I was also astonished.
It's truly amazing what hard work and persistence does. I mean, think about it. Last fall I had the depressing moment of buying a size 24 pants. I'm now in a loose-needs-to-be-belted size 18. I've lost 43 pounds. Who does that?
Apparently, I do.
It was like a penacle moment as my Momma cheered me on. I've felt so weird lately, like exposed to the world because I feel so different. Like, it's almost as if I'm walking around naked, like everyone can see me in such a raw way. I know that's very odd, but I just don't feel comfortable in my own skin...in a really, really good way.
It's not just spiritually, like I mentioned in my last post. It's totally physically, too. My face has thinned dramatically. I have muscles...like, leg muscles that look really good. My feet, too. My stupid feet are smaller and none of my flats fit the way they used to. I have this stuff under my arms that's not flab - it's skin. Ok, yes, they are still a little wing-like, but at the bottom of that there's skin!
Craziness, I tell you. Craziness.
So, I don't know what my true goal is as far as weight goes. It's hard to measure because I went from the size 20 to the size 18 by losing a whopping three pounds. Which, my physical activity haters, is proof that exercise and diet together is the best way to get in shape.
So, what is next? I feel like the whole "5k by 'almost' Labor Day" thing is over, so I need to set a new goal, right? I mean, once you achieve your goals, shouldn't you set more? #complacencymuch?
Yes. The answer is Yes.
Obviously, being able to run the entire 5k is next. I'm looking at races in March or April to participate in. But, I think I want something closer. I'm hesitant to set a weight loss goal because of how weird my body is right now. So, I think a good, comfy, nice looking size 16 by Christmas is the new goal.
Yep. Just said/typed it. "Sweet 16 by Christmastime" is the new goal.
Doable.
I think that's all for now. I'm working on a longer more "inspiring" piece about the whole "naked" thing, haha. I'm actually doing a word study in the Bible on the word naked. It's used a lot in a lot of different ways, but it all boils down to being exposed - whether good or bad.
But that's another blog, my friends.
Peace Out, Home Fries.
Missy ;o)
P.S. Please enjoy the pics from the 5k race day!
 |
| Warming up with Jazzercise before the race. This one was to LMFAO's I'm Sexy and I Know It, lol. |
Home stretch...AKA "Praise the Lord, Hallelujah I survived!"
 |
| Me, Kim and Truman at the finish line! |
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Comfort Zone
"I think it's like a right of passage," she said, hitting the nail right on the head. "At some point in every woman's walk with Jesus, He asks them to go farther. It's more than just loving and serving Him, it's about literally giving all of yourself to Him."
My friend Missi shared that with me the other night over an excellent Burrito Bowl from Chipotle. We were talking about the change I wrote of in my last post. I was updating her on all the fun things that have really transformed me this Summer. I walk by a mirror and I don't recognize myself...both physically and figuratively.
When I felt God really pulling on my heart in March to start letting things come to the surface, I had no idea what to expect. Like Missi said, I loved God and I was serving Him, but there was something missing. There was a next step that my heart was being pulled toward, and I knew I had a choice to make. Without hesitation I made the step.
The following months were a whirlwind of deep study of scripture, filling countless pages in my journal, and reading everything about God I could. I wanted to know the Creator who made me on an intimate level. I wanted to take breathes of His Spirit. I wanted to walk in His presence. I wanted to feel Him molding me.
And, that I did. And, still feel now.
I keep telling people that Belize was an "excellent trip." That it was fun, and I had an amazing time. Truth is, I haven't told many people the full story of what happened to me there. I feel like the change God was walking me through had a "crystalized moment." (Mr, Finley's advanced English II class, anyone?)
For the longest time, I truly felt like I was supposed to go on that trip. I just knew there was something God wanted to teach/show/reveal to me. But, here it was almost the last day, and I really hadn't felt much. I was a little disappointed because I wanted to hear His voice. I was actually a little desperate to hear His voice.
As I asked for some direction, I felt Him say, "Just be patient. We've got time."
So, the next morning, I was standing in Central Assembly of God - a huge church in downtown Belize City. I was surrounded by a melting pot of cultures: Belizeans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, Americans, and so many more. We were singing worship songs I knew, but they all had a Caribbean flair. I was really listening for God because of my prayer time the night before.
"God, I just don't get it. We have very few hours left here in Belize, and other than You showing me I can shovel really well, I don't think I've learned anything." (Insert deep, long sigh here)
Then, as clear and gentle as I hear the leaves falling from the tree outside my window, He asked, "Missy, are You comfortable?"
Whaaaa??????? I kind of felt like that was a trick question. See, if you are "comfortable" in your walk with God, chances are you've grown complacent. And, chances are, that's code for "I don't wanna' grown."
(That'll preach.)
"Missy, are You comfortable?"
"Umm, well, yes, Lord, I really am. I mean physically speaking, there's a nice breeze, I feel rested, the worship is beautiful, and this week has been truly amazing. You're growing me daily, and I'm really beginning not to recognize myself."
"So, You're comfortable?"
"Yes, God. But, a little help?"
And then it all clicked. I'm thousands of miles from home. I'm in a country where "my skinned" people are vastly out numbered. I've been eating strange food and sleeping in a random hotel. I've been pouring into women on the trip twice my age, and literally seeing men transform as they shovel dirt.
And, I'm comfortable with it all.
Even though I was out of my comfort zone of talking to Mom every day, putting make up on, wearing cute shoes, facebooking friends, texting acquaintances, and sleeping in my own precious bed, I was comfortable.
It took leaving my comfort zone of life in Columbia, MO to realize just how comfortable I could really be.
God calls every person (although, I'm really speaking to young women right now) to choose Him. There's gonna' be a moment or a service or something that you can look back to and see "old self" and "new self." Mine is literally July 29, 2012. From that service in Central Assembly, I am a completely different woman. I will never be that Missy again. I may go through rough places where I pick up her old habits or have trouble dying to the old flesh, but I will never be the same.
I have no idea what's in store for me. I feel transformed every morning just by waking up to a new day. I'm prepared for awesomeness and expecting lots of people to come to know Jesus along the way. I'm ready for Africa, or SEMO, or 10 more years at Mizzou, or pastoring, or mentoring, or (wow, I'm a little shocked to say this) I think I'm even ready for marriage. I feel like if a man is looking for that Proverbs 31 woman, I'm getting close to the Missy version of her.* I don't know where or when or how my future looks, but I'm ready for it.
So, ladies (and gentlemen if you exist on this blog), do you hear Him calling? Are you ready to go from just serving Him to really living in Him? Every spiritual woman in my life that I talk to about this says there was a specific time in their mid-twenties to early-thirties that God asked them to go all in. Do you hear Him calling?
Just listen if you don't.
Until next time, home fries.
Love ya.
Missy :o)
(Or, the girl formally known as Missy)
*Please note, I know I'm not the epitome of the Proverbs 31 woman. But, the fact that I feel "comfortable" enough to say that I have something to offer a true man of God is huge. It may be 10 more years before I get to offer it to him, but I feel more prepared than ever before. It's fun, really.
My friend Missi shared that with me the other night over an excellent Burrito Bowl from Chipotle. We were talking about the change I wrote of in my last post. I was updating her on all the fun things that have really transformed me this Summer. I walk by a mirror and I don't recognize myself...both physically and figuratively.
When I felt God really pulling on my heart in March to start letting things come to the surface, I had no idea what to expect. Like Missi said, I loved God and I was serving Him, but there was something missing. There was a next step that my heart was being pulled toward, and I knew I had a choice to make. Without hesitation I made the step.
The following months were a whirlwind of deep study of scripture, filling countless pages in my journal, and reading everything about God I could. I wanted to know the Creator who made me on an intimate level. I wanted to take breathes of His Spirit. I wanted to walk in His presence. I wanted to feel Him molding me.
And, that I did. And, still feel now.
I keep telling people that Belize was an "excellent trip." That it was fun, and I had an amazing time. Truth is, I haven't told many people the full story of what happened to me there. I feel like the change God was walking me through had a "crystalized moment." (Mr, Finley's advanced English II class, anyone?)
For the longest time, I truly felt like I was supposed to go on that trip. I just knew there was something God wanted to teach/show/reveal to me. But, here it was almost the last day, and I really hadn't felt much. I was a little disappointed because I wanted to hear His voice. I was actually a little desperate to hear His voice.
As I asked for some direction, I felt Him say, "Just be patient. We've got time."
So, the next morning, I was standing in Central Assembly of God - a huge church in downtown Belize City. I was surrounded by a melting pot of cultures: Belizeans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, Americans, and so many more. We were singing worship songs I knew, but they all had a Caribbean flair. I was really listening for God because of my prayer time the night before.
"God, I just don't get it. We have very few hours left here in Belize, and other than You showing me I can shovel really well, I don't think I've learned anything." (Insert deep, long sigh here)
Then, as clear and gentle as I hear the leaves falling from the tree outside my window, He asked, "Missy, are You comfortable?"
Whaaaa??????? I kind of felt like that was a trick question. See, if you are "comfortable" in your walk with God, chances are you've grown complacent. And, chances are, that's code for "I don't wanna' grown."
(That'll preach.)
"Missy, are You comfortable?"
"Umm, well, yes, Lord, I really am. I mean physically speaking, there's a nice breeze, I feel rested, the worship is beautiful, and this week has been truly amazing. You're growing me daily, and I'm really beginning not to recognize myself."
"So, You're comfortable?"
"Yes, God. But, a little help?"
And then it all clicked. I'm thousands of miles from home. I'm in a country where "my skinned" people are vastly out numbered. I've been eating strange food and sleeping in a random hotel. I've been pouring into women on the trip twice my age, and literally seeing men transform as they shovel dirt.
And, I'm comfortable with it all.
Even though I was out of my comfort zone of talking to Mom every day, putting make up on, wearing cute shoes, facebooking friends, texting acquaintances, and sleeping in my own precious bed, I was comfortable.
It took leaving my comfort zone of life in Columbia, MO to realize just how comfortable I could really be.
God calls every person (although, I'm really speaking to young women right now) to choose Him. There's gonna' be a moment or a service or something that you can look back to and see "old self" and "new self." Mine is literally July 29, 2012. From that service in Central Assembly, I am a completely different woman. I will never be that Missy again. I may go through rough places where I pick up her old habits or have trouble dying to the old flesh, but I will never be the same.
I have no idea what's in store for me. I feel transformed every morning just by waking up to a new day. I'm prepared for awesomeness and expecting lots of people to come to know Jesus along the way. I'm ready for Africa, or SEMO, or 10 more years at Mizzou, or pastoring, or mentoring, or (wow, I'm a little shocked to say this) I think I'm even ready for marriage. I feel like if a man is looking for that Proverbs 31 woman, I'm getting close to the Missy version of her.* I don't know where or when or how my future looks, but I'm ready for it.
So, ladies (and gentlemen if you exist on this blog), do you hear Him calling? Are you ready to go from just serving Him to really living in Him? Every spiritual woman in my life that I talk to about this says there was a specific time in their mid-twenties to early-thirties that God asked them to go all in. Do you hear Him calling?
Just listen if you don't.
Until next time, home fries.
Love ya.
Missy :o)
(Or, the girl formally known as Missy)
*Please note, I know I'm not the epitome of the Proverbs 31 woman. But, the fact that I feel "comfortable" enough to say that I have something to offer a true man of God is huge. It may be 10 more years before I get to offer it to him, but I feel more prepared than ever before. It's fun, really.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
change /Chanj/ - (v.) make or become different
"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." - Nelson Mandella
I've been going through a lot of change lately. Obviously, my physical appearance and physical well-being has been changing, but I'm more talking about my inside. The Best Missy I Can Be is not someone I am today.
De-cluttering my life has become my favorite thing, as silly as that sounds. The other night I came back from a jog and literally cleaned the belly of my closet. Two hours and three trash bags later, it looks and feels so much better. I threw away things I hadn't seen or used in years. Stuff from college, shoes that had worn soles, bath and body products with scents I no longer like (see, change is everywhere).
Yesterday, I moved to my book shelves. I had so many papers from college that back in 2009 I just knew I would use again. Truth is, I hadn't accepted the fact that I would never be a journalist. Let's say I'm selling some text books this week. I don't like to say never, but do I look like I wanna' be a journalist? ;o)
While cleaning, I came across old prayer journals. When I say old, I mean old. The year 2006 was one of the most transformational of my life. I turned 18, fell in love, graduated from college, moved three hours away from home, got my heart painfully broken (my journal's words, lol), and the Cards won the series. At the time, I thought I couldn't be happier (or more depressed depending on if I saw the culprit of the love and heart break, haha). But, when I look back now, I see a girl who was clearly lost and confused.
My ultimate desire at that time was to be with said boy and become a journalist. Literally. The only reason you could call a couple of those prayer journals 'prayer journals' was because the entries started off with Dear God. Reading them now, I'm a little ashamed at how cocky and stubborn I was. I didn't care about much of anything if it didn't start with a J and end with an 'ustin,' hahahaha! (Kayla and Heather will appreciate that reference.)
Truth is, I was so against change at that time because I thought change meant losing everything I was. But, the truth is that's what change is about....not losing who you are, but gaining who you're supposed to be.
College did a number on me in a really good way. I changed so much in that three years. I got over said boy and dated a really good guy off and on (technically, we only dated once, but we had that yo-yo thing going on for awhile, haha). I actually learned a lot about love from that good guy (even though we never shared "the l word" with each other). I learned I wasn't ready for "the l word," and no amount of pushing a relationship you think would be so pleasing to God will work if it's not in His timing. I went from being obsessed with becoming a columnist in Chicago to living and breathing Chi Alpha Campus Ministries. I mean, everything about my personality seemed to change dramatically.
It's three years later, and I'm feeling the exact same way. I'm single, and actually really happy about it. I joke A LOT about finding "my man," but I don't want a boyfriend. I'm having fun on my own! And, I still definitely live and breath Chi Alpha, but even that desire has changed a little. We use to joke that I wanted Tom's job as Campus Pastor at MU. I even talk a lot about seeing XA take off at SEMO, but I just don't know anymore. Truth is, I want to travel. I want to partner with XA all over and see where my talents lead me. This is all far in the future of course, it's just crazy to see how your desires change.
See, those prayer journals haven't changed. Reading them was like the quote above...returning to a place that hadn't changed a bit. They are covered in dust taking up space in my clean closet. However, the penman who penned them is gone. And, I think it's a good thing that she no longer exists. Parts of her do and always will in memories and experiences with great people. My parents see her at times when we share stories. I think they miss her more than I do....she went home more often.
I know I'm kind of rambling. But, doesn't critical thinking tend to make you do that?
I am who I am today. I'm not who I'm gonna' be tomorrow, and I'm certainly not who I will be in a year. Daily, I hand my heart, mind and body over to God to change me a little more. I hope that I can read my current prayer journals three years from now and not recognize the Missy who wrote them.
That's all for now. What do you need to de-clutter? There's nothing like a closet or drawer or room to help you figuratively look at your life. Try it.
Peace Out, Home fries.
Missy :o)
P.S. Dating Teaching moment....Me and that "good guy" I spoke of are very close friends to this day. We now actually platonically use "the l word" with each other and mean it! He's a brother. Take notes, young women. Please use it as an example of how to date - and break up - in a ....well...in a smart way.
I've been going through a lot of change lately. Obviously, my physical appearance and physical well-being has been changing, but I'm more talking about my inside. The Best Missy I Can Be is not someone I am today.
De-cluttering my life has become my favorite thing, as silly as that sounds. The other night I came back from a jog and literally cleaned the belly of my closet. Two hours and three trash bags later, it looks and feels so much better. I threw away things I hadn't seen or used in years. Stuff from college, shoes that had worn soles, bath and body products with scents I no longer like (see, change is everywhere).
Yesterday, I moved to my book shelves. I had so many papers from college that back in 2009 I just knew I would use again. Truth is, I hadn't accepted the fact that I would never be a journalist. Let's say I'm selling some text books this week. I don't like to say never, but do I look like I wanna' be a journalist? ;o)
While cleaning, I came across old prayer journals. When I say old, I mean old. The year 2006 was one of the most transformational of my life. I turned 18, fell in love, graduated from college, moved three hours away from home, got my heart painfully broken (my journal's words, lol), and the Cards won the series. At the time, I thought I couldn't be happier (or more depressed depending on if I saw the culprit of the love and heart break, haha). But, when I look back now, I see a girl who was clearly lost and confused.
My ultimate desire at that time was to be with said boy and become a journalist. Literally. The only reason you could call a couple of those prayer journals 'prayer journals' was because the entries started off with Dear God. Reading them now, I'm a little ashamed at how cocky and stubborn I was. I didn't care about much of anything if it didn't start with a J and end with an 'ustin,' hahahaha! (Kayla and Heather will appreciate that reference.)
Truth is, I was so against change at that time because I thought change meant losing everything I was. But, the truth is that's what change is about....not losing who you are, but gaining who you're supposed to be.
College did a number on me in a really good way. I changed so much in that three years. I got over said boy and dated a really good guy off and on (technically, we only dated once, but we had that yo-yo thing going on for awhile, haha). I actually learned a lot about love from that good guy (even though we never shared "the l word" with each other). I learned I wasn't ready for "the l word," and no amount of pushing a relationship you think would be so pleasing to God will work if it's not in His timing. I went from being obsessed with becoming a columnist in Chicago to living and breathing Chi Alpha Campus Ministries. I mean, everything about my personality seemed to change dramatically.
It's three years later, and I'm feeling the exact same way. I'm single, and actually really happy about it. I joke A LOT about finding "my man," but I don't want a boyfriend. I'm having fun on my own! And, I still definitely live and breath Chi Alpha, but even that desire has changed a little. We use to joke that I wanted Tom's job as Campus Pastor at MU. I even talk a lot about seeing XA take off at SEMO, but I just don't know anymore. Truth is, I want to travel. I want to partner with XA all over and see where my talents lead me. This is all far in the future of course, it's just crazy to see how your desires change.
See, those prayer journals haven't changed. Reading them was like the quote above...returning to a place that hadn't changed a bit. They are covered in dust taking up space in my clean closet. However, the penman who penned them is gone. And, I think it's a good thing that she no longer exists. Parts of her do and always will in memories and experiences with great people. My parents see her at times when we share stories. I think they miss her more than I do....she went home more often.
I know I'm kind of rambling. But, doesn't critical thinking tend to make you do that?
I am who I am today. I'm not who I'm gonna' be tomorrow, and I'm certainly not who I will be in a year. Daily, I hand my heart, mind and body over to God to change me a little more. I hope that I can read my current prayer journals three years from now and not recognize the Missy who wrote them.
That's all for now. What do you need to de-clutter? There's nothing like a closet or drawer or room to help you figuratively look at your life. Try it.
Peace Out, Home fries.
Missy :o)
P.S. Dating Teaching moment....Me and that "good guy" I spoke of are very close friends to this day. We now actually platonically use "the l word" with each other and mean it! He's a brother. Take notes, young women. Please use it as an example of how to date - and break up - in a ....well...in a smart way.
Monday, August 13, 2012
skin~ny (adj.) - very lean or thin; emaciated (lol!)
Today, ladies and gentlemen, marks the fourth time in two weeks that someone has used the word skinny to describe me.
What the what?!
This is fun. Never, in my 24+ years of living has anyone ever called me skinny.
Now, before you get all hoity toity on me, I know I'm not skinny. I know I'm still "plus size," and I still have a lot of weight to lose. However, I'm gonna' bask in this.
So, while I'm basking, you can learn about what's up in my life!
Like.....
My Belize trip! It was INCREDIBLE! So much fun. Like, seriously, the most fun I've had on a missions trip because the people I went with are straight up crazy! For pictures, check my facebook page. I will share more with you later. Remind me to tell you about the latrine and "good people."
Tomorrow, Chi Alpha moves in Freshmen which starts two weeks of craziness. Popsicle give-a-way, BBQ, Fiesta, XAi Picnic, Root Beer Kegger, and the first service. Here goes lack of sleep and meeting so many new people I won't know how to handle it!
Moving on, I'm writing this blog on my brand spanking new MacBook Pro 15"!!! A HUGE, GIGANTIC thank you to Harvest Christian Centre Missions for purchasing it for me! Well, almost purchasing it. The offerings are still coming in, so if you want to give, uhh, see here! Tell Pastor Jones that you want to help! If you do give online, e-mail donna@reapnow.org so she knows what to put the money toward! Sorry....shameless plug, I know!
Back to the basking in the skinny...I've selected a 5k to run! My Jazzerrcise location is creating a team for the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in Columbia this year. It's two weeks after Labor Day, but I don't care. Plus, my sickly period and Belize put me way behind.
So, that's all for now. I know, I know, not much stuff, but, once things settle down, I'll get back to the fun of inspiring and challenging you! Scout's honor!
Peace Out, Home Fries,
Missy :o)
P.S. - Special shout out to Britani Siebeneck, Beth Harris, Heather Jones and Judy Russell for the skinny word. And, no, Heather, you aren't "fat," you are pregnant, you goof!
P.S.S. - Please retract Heather Jones. Her name is Heather Thomure.....and has been for well over a year now.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
I just don't understand.
I try to be a compassionate person. After all, if you are truly trying to live a life like Jesus, you must have compassion.
I really struggle with that, though.
Poor kids in Haiti - compassion.
Lost souls in Kingston Jamaica - compassion.
Homeless men and women in The District - compassion.
That kind of compassion is "easy." We're human. If you aren't moved by a story of an innocent person in need, then maybe you should do some soul searching. What I'm talking about is a different kind of compassion. A compassion for people who know better.
I keep seeing people in and around my life (even stories on the news) make really bad decisions. I keep seeing them travel down a path that will inevitably lead to destruction - and it's obvious to these people. But, they do it anyway.
And, I think the hardest part is that the majority of the stories I see and hear are from Christians. Christians who've grown up in church. They know right from wrong. They know what a real realtionship with God feels like, but they throw it all away for selfishness. For personal desires or gain. They get so caught up in what the world thinks - how they look, feel, how big their house is, how nice their car is, how blah, blah, blah, blah.... That they forget none of those things matter!
On one hand, I'm preaching to the choir because I'm definitely selfish at times. But, I pray it's never to the detriment of others. And, those of you who know me well, know I love my shoes and purses and sunglasses and losing weight. Bargains are fun, and dropping dresses sizes is fun but my clothing and appearance is not the most important thing in my life. Didn't God say that if He clothes the lilies of the field and feeds the fishes and birds, how much more will He take care of us? (Missy's paraphrase of Matthew 6:26-30, lol)
I was reading my Life of Jesus plan today, and came across this passage.
P.S. - Since quitting last July, God has blessed me and allowed me to raise an additional $400 a month. Now that's something I understand.
P.S.S. - If you want to join in the fun and make that $400 increase Click Here.
I really struggle with that, though.
Poor kids in Haiti - compassion.
Lost souls in Kingston Jamaica - compassion.
Homeless men and women in The District - compassion.
That kind of compassion is "easy." We're human. If you aren't moved by a story of an innocent person in need, then maybe you should do some soul searching. What I'm talking about is a different kind of compassion. A compassion for people who know better.
I keep seeing people in and around my life (even stories on the news) make really bad decisions. I keep seeing them travel down a path that will inevitably lead to destruction - and it's obvious to these people. But, they do it anyway.
And, I think the hardest part is that the majority of the stories I see and hear are from Christians. Christians who've grown up in church. They know right from wrong. They know what a real realtionship with God feels like, but they throw it all away for selfishness. For personal desires or gain. They get so caught up in what the world thinks - how they look, feel, how big their house is, how nice their car is, how blah, blah, blah, blah.... That they forget none of those things matter!
On one hand, I'm preaching to the choir because I'm definitely selfish at times. But, I pray it's never to the detriment of others. And, those of you who know me well, know I love my shoes and purses and sunglasses and losing weight. Bargains are fun, and dropping dresses sizes is fun but my clothing and appearance is not the most important thing in my life. Didn't God say that if He clothes the lilies of the field and feeds the fishes and birds, how much more will He take care of us? (Missy's paraphrase of Matthew 6:26-30, lol)
I was reading my Life of Jesus plan today, and came across this passage.
"But the disciples had forgotten to bring any food. They had only one loaf of bread with them in the boat. 15 As they were crossing the lake, Jesus warned them, “Watch out! Beware of the yeast of the Pharisees and of Herod.” 16 At this they began to argue with each other because they hadn’t brought any bread.17 Jesus knew what they were saying, so he said, “Why are you arguing about having no bread? Don’t you know or understand even yet? Are your hearts too hard to take it in?18 ‘You have eyes—can’t you see? You have ears—can’t you hear?’[a] Don’t you remember anything at all? 19 When I fed the 5,000 with five loaves of bread, how many baskets of leftovers did you pick up afterward?” “Twelve,” they said. 20 “And when I fed the 4,000 with seven loaves, how many large baskets of leftovers did you pick up?” “Seven,” they said. 21 “Don’t you understand yet?” he asked them." - Mark 8:14-21
The disciples had traveled with Jesus some time. At this point they have seen Jesus heal dozens of people: blind eyes opened, deaf ears unclogged, dead raised to life again, demons removed, and food supernaturally multiplied. They have seen Jesus do these miraculous things, and yet they were arguing with each other over who forgot the bread.
If Jesus has the faith to raise someone from the dead, don't you think He can provide food for the disciples?
I feel for Jesus. "Don't you understand yet?" DON'T YOU GET IT?
I know there have been many times where Jesus was screaming this at me. Specifically last Summer when I was so fearful of quitting my part time job to do Chi Alpha 100% full time. I remember I was in my car on the phone with my Dad. I was literally asking him if I could quit the law firm.
"Why are you asking me?" Dad asked.
"Because, you are my emergency fund, Dad. You help me out when ends don't meet. I'm asking you if you will still help me even though I want to take $175 out of my monthly budget by quitting."
"Did God ask you to quit your job?"
"Yes."
"Then, why on earth are you asking me if you should?"
Silence. My Dad had an excellent point.
I was so worried about money and what would happen to me that I was literally disobeying God. Now, my dad went on to tell me that he will help me in and every way I can if it means I'm in God's will. But, even if he had said no, I still would have quit. Why? Because I understand that God's not "out to get me" or in the business of leaving His followers "high and dry."
So, what's my point?
My point is take today to live for someone else other than yourself. Quit worrying about 1) Things you cannot change because they are out of your control, or 2) Stupid things like finding a man or being a size 4 that don't really matter. Take a moment to listen to see if God is pulling a wake up call on you. If you do, I guarantee He's gonna' meet you where you are, and help fill what ever gap or void you are trying to fix on your own.
I'd apologize for being so serious today, but it's weighing heavy on my heart. I think I'm finally feeling compassion. My heart's breaking for these people who just need to get a glimpse of understanding God's goodness. Pray for me today, please.
Peace out, dear friends.
Missy :o)
P.S. - Since quitting last July, God has blessed me and allowed me to raise an additional $400 a month. Now that's something I understand.
P.S.S. - If you want to join in the fun and make that $400 increase Click Here.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)