I Know I Shouldn't Have...Minor Set Backs

Ok, never mind the fact that it’s been more than a week since I posted. This whole “No Internet at Home” really sticks! Good news, though! Free Internet at my apartment starting July 1^st! Woo hoo! Never mind the fact that rent went up $7.50 a piece this lease year. Oh well!

Anyway, back to the minor setbacks.  So, about 10 days ago I weird things started to happen. I went to Jazzercise one night, and it was great. However, about an hour later my heart started racing. My heart rate just skyrocketed, and I started sweating. I know I shouldn’t have, but I chalked it up to weird blood sugar.

Then, that Sunday, I went for Week 1 - Day 2 of C2-5k. I did great for the first two minutes of running. But, then I got these horrible pains in my side and had trouble breathing. I walked pretty much the rest of the way…just jogged a little at the end. I chalked that up to the heat of the day. I know…I shouldn’t have.

Well, then Monday night I went to Jazzercise. I was feeling great until the fourth song in. I got really light headed and dizzy. Something just felt off. I know I shouldn’t have, but I chalked it up to not eating before hand. About an hour after getting home my heart rate shot up again. The sweat came, and I just felt awful. This time, I knew something was wrong. You know how you can just feel “off”?

Well, the next day, I called my Nurse Practitioner (with some advice/nudging from my dear friend Missi). I thought I’d schedule an appointment for the next time I was home. I’d been on this medicine for about a year that was supposed to help lower my glucose levels. I’m not diabetic; I’ve always been what doctors call “pre-diabetic.” My body makes too much insulin and what it doesn’t use, it stores as fat. Thus why I have such a hard time losing weight – and why this 40 pounds is INCREDIBLE! PTL!

Anyway, my NP was less than enthused about what I shared with her and wanted me to go in for blood work ASAP. I spent most of Wednesday morning at urgent care getting blood work and an EKG done (remind me to tell you THAT awesome story, lol). Meanwhile, she took me off the medication and told me to stay away from ANYTHING THAT CAN INCREASE MY HEART RATE until all results come back. So, yes, that means I’ve done nothing physically challenging since LAST MONDAY!

Sucky.

Anyway, my EKG came back “perfect” as the doctor said. Kidney is fine. Heart seems to be fine. Pancreas seems to be fine. The only thing that looked out of the ordinary was that my glucose levels seemed closer to normal and my thyroid numbers “are way out of whack.” I kid you not – the urgent care doctor actually said out of whack.

They faxed the results to my NP, and I’m still waiting to hear back. She was out of the office Thursday and Friday. I’m gonna’ be “that patient” tomorrow and call until I get through to her. Meanwhile, I’m a couch potato….sadness.

In my last post, I ended with Paul’s words of wisdom that spiritual fitness is far superior to physical fitness. All of this has got me thinking. In exception to your diet and exercise, you really don’t have that much control over your physical being. Cancer just shows up. You fall and break an arm. Your heart decides to stop.

On the other hand, we have COMPLETE control of our spiritual well-being. We control its healthy levels, if you will. We control when it’s levels get “out of whack.” The question is – what are you doing about it?

Just like I felt like something was “off” last week, I know when my relationship with God is off. I know that feeling of neglecting my prayer time. I know how I feel if I miss reading some part of the Word for a day or two. How many times have you said, “I know I shouldn’t skip it, but I’m just so tired to pray today.”?

I’ve come to place in my life where I know what reading the Word does for me. It brings me joy, peace, comfort and a whole bunch of wisdom that I wouldn’t normally have. Last Wednesday as I was waiting to hear from urgent care, I was a mess. My NP thought I could be in danger because of my symptoms. It took everything I had to focuss that day. I was getting ready to go on a Prayer Walk with some of the students when I realized I needed to do some praying of my own. So, I sat on a couch in the XA House and just prayed. Then I read a little in Proverbs. Then I’d pray again. Before I knew it, and hour had gone by – an hour free of worrying about my heart - an hour of peace in God’s gentle presence.

Now, I know some of you have been dreading the time when the spiritual side of “The Best Missy I Can Be” finally came through. But here it is in all it’s glory. My faith, my God is the heartbeat of my life. He is the SOLE reason I even get to live this life as Missy. My heart daily beats for Him. I long for His presence like my body longs for movement right now. I know there are people in this world that don’t even think God hears our prayers. I kow people think I’m insane because I live my life for someone I can’t even see.

But I really don’t care what they think.

Even if I blow up to a 500-pound woman and never work out a day in my life, I will still have Jesus and I will still be stronger than I am now. Don’t worry I won’t do that, but do you get what I’m saying?

Ok, well, then, what I’m saying is – try me. Take one moment of your day and open up to the Book of Proverbs. Heck, go to Bible Gateway right now and read a little. Want some of that wisdom I was talking about? Check it out.. Test me on this and just tell me if it doesn’t make you feel a little stronger, wiser, better today.

I don’t know what my NP is gonna’ tell me. She may ban me from exercise for longer. She may put me on meds for my thyroid. She may tell me there’s something horribly wrong with my heart. No matter what, I know that I’m gonna’ be just fine. A minor set back in my physical life will not cause a minor set back in my spiritual life. On Christ the solid rock I stand, and all other ground is sinking sand.

In reality, I haven’t had a setback at all. I’m just leaning on Him.