It's not personal...

I hate that phrase. I feel like every time someone uses that phrase they use it because they know that "it's" (whatever 'it' is) is personal.

Reminds me of You've Got Mail. There's an excellent scene where Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are talking. Hanks' character just put Ryan's character out of business.

I love that. "What's so wrong with being personal?"

A few weeks ago a situation came up that I took very, very personally. Without going into details, a very large, very close supporter decided to drop me from monthly giving. I get it. Things happen, new bills come in, you "go a direction," whatever. It wasn't about the money. It was the fact that I was informed of this change in a note - a two sentence note that didn't even end in goodbye or God Bless.

I was hurt. I immediately called the parties involved to make sure I hadn't done something wrong. I wanted to make sure there wasn't something they disagreed with. It's been about three weeks, and no phone call back. I received a short text message that included the phrase "nothing personal." I also received a FB message that included the phrase "it wasn't personal."

That stung a little.

See, any time I use the phrase "nothing personal," I say it knowing that the other party is going to take it personal. It's usually something silly like, "That belt doesn't match those shoes." Or, "your 'famous' spaghetti was not good," haha. As well as I can remember, I've never used it in a way that would actually cause hurt feelings.

Now that I've been on the other side of it, now, that I've had to go through this "pain" of sorts, I will be very careful how I use that phrase. People may say I wear my heart on my sleeve (although, I usually don't), but this made me feel personally attacked. Like, someone had something against me. And, the fact that I still don't have 'real' answers, makes me feel that way even more. What did I do?

Missy, why are you sharing this?

Well, one, you guys (whoever you are) like to read about my life. Secondly, I think we need to learn to be more personal. Think of others. And, not just in giving, but in our actions. How will this make (insert other party's name here) feel?

I've been teaching a lot about selfless love this semester. I have the girls ask two questions. Does this spread love? No? Is this just mean? Yes? Then do I need to say it?

Sometimes we talk for the sake of talking - not caring who or what feelings are in our war path. I still struggle with this at times. There are a few people in my life who say what they want to say when they want to say it - even if it's hurtful or, well, rude. I struggle being around that. I struggle turning back into "The lesser version of the Missy I want to be" every time I hear how "hip-y" J-Lo is. Or, how "annoying" so and so is. I just feel like there is already so much negative crap in this world. Why should I contribute to it?

So, what do you think? I think the world needs a little less cynicism that drives us to being rude and down right mean We need a lot more love. What about you, personally? Are you spreading love? Are you taking the feelings of others into consideration? Or, are you throwing around the "nothing personals"?

Just something to think about, friends.

Peace Out, Home Fries
Missy :o)

In case you're interested. You can help fill that $200/month void here.